Monday, March 14, 2011

Feeling Inadequate

As a second year teacher, in many ways I feel like I am just getting my feet on the ground. However, right now I am feeling pressures from all around me to start thinking about the future, not my students' futures, but my future as a teacher. I feel the pressure to start grad school soon, to get additional certification and to start thinking about my next steps. However, the more and more I think about it, I really want to enjoy my time in the classroom right now. I want to be present in the moment not thinking about the future.

After a lot of talks with friends and with mentors, it is very evident that I have a lot of fear about making a commitment to teaching long term. I am not naturally a fearful person, but perhaps it scares me to think that getting my masters is going to trap me into a profession that I am not sure of right now. Perhaps, I am fearful of the financial commitment of a masters.

Being a perfectionist doesn't help my decision making process at all. I want to make sure I am making the absolute best decision on this. I feel like in the past I have made rushed decisions based desire to please others and be comfortable. Now, I want to spend time looking into programs, comparing the benefits, looking to the future of what different licensure and degrees could result in later on.

Even after looking into programs, I still have lots of questions. These are some of the things I will be thinking about in the next couple of weeks.
1. Do I want to remain in the classroom forever, or can I see myself taking on formal leadership roles?
2. Of the people I work with, who can I talk to about different degrees and what sort of paths those lead down?
3. What areas do I feel like I need to gain more knowledge in or be challenged in?

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